Game Changer

I’ve got to say, I feel like today has been a RADICAL change for my mood, behavior, actions, everything. I’m not entirely sure why though.

First of all, I deleted my facebook which has helped tremendously. I’ll probably reactivate it again in a few days once everything gets back to normal again schoolwise and stresswise. It’s like if that temptation is completely eliminated from my mind, then the reminders of him are eliminated, and those stupid little hypothetical conversations are completely gone too.

Also, last night I made an adamant point about praising God during my quiet time. I thanked him for getting me this far, and it really has been a blessing to me how much he’s gotten me through.

I did see both my ex and his girlfriend today (which I haven’t see her in several weeks). I still got the shakes pretty bad, and I don’t know any other way to control that other than to just let it take its course and then move on. Hopefully with time, that will get less and less.

I did one other thing last night/ this morning that I want to just keep to myself for awhile, but I promise you it was so helpful and such a blessing to me and I think that taking that action will solidify my upward progression into a healthier lifestyle, both physically and mentally, and will give me the strength and motivation to move on with my life.

I’m in such a good mood today. I feel like for the first time in a while, I’m smiling for no reason. I’ve seen people that I don’t usually see today, and I’ve gotten to reconnect with some other people that I haven’t talked to in a while. I’m going to Louisiana tomorrow to spend some time with my family and go to my cousin’s wedding. In all, I think that I’m going to start making more of an effort to see the good things in life, and not dwell on all the bad things that have happened. There’s so much to look forward to.

The weather is beautiful. I’m high spirited. I feel a small sense of god’s purpose in my life. I’m starting a new trend of happiness today that I sincerely hope sticks. So, today and this week, I ask that you keep me accountable. I’m sure that I’ll have days and blogposts that are constant complaints, and when I do, could  you just remind me of today and of this post? For a day of complaints and weaknesses, I just need to reminded of how awesome God is and how he brought me so far, and is taking care of me every step of the way. With those reminders, maybe my negative attitude won’t dictate my actions and that I’ll be more of the bright, happy, bubbly person that I once was. That’s all I want.

I just want to be me again.

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One comment on “Game Changer

  1. Kris says:

    I’m thankful that you’ve had a good day. 🙂

    When you find yourself at a place where you’re wondering if your faith is enough to get you through a situation, keep in mind that YOU are not holding onto God – ultimately, HE is holding on to you. Whatever faith you do have is a gift from God. And Jesus says that even a miniscule amount of faith – the “size of a mustard seed” – is enough to get you through.

    I still keep thinking of that verse – “My strength is made perfect in weakness. When I am weak, then He is strong.” When you feel like your faith is at the lowest point, that is when (paradoxically) you are being made strong.

    I think today might have been one of those days where God gave you a glimpse of how things are going to be on a regular basis some time in the near future.

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