So, I just got home from gym maybe 30 minutes ago. The first thing I did was sit down at my computer, check my messages, the usual.
Then I opened word and typed an entire email out to my ex. It was something along the lines of “I’m so hurt, blah blah blah, I wish we could be friends but I’m not strong enough”. It was everything I would have said to him the day after we broke up. I wrote a line about him trying to reconcile with me and work hard to regain my trust. It was a really good email and sort of helped me sort out my thoughts. I thought seriously about sending it, I even opened my email account. But, I know it’s just not right. I shouldn’t have to reach out to him. I shouldn’t go to him. So I deleted the entire thing, and exited out of word. That took so much will power to close out of it. I’m at this weird phase where I want to practically reach out to him. It’s like I’m eager to send him some kind of message, but I keep telling myself no. So…progress? Haha. Not so sure yet.