I know I haven’t written in a while. Life has been so crazy busy and I’ve been so stressed out lately. I’ve been getting in a good swing at work until Thursday, when my boss took me into the conference room with a large stack of my work and a long list of things I’ve apparently been doing wrong for a while. All the while, I had no clue I was doing anything wrong that whole time. She pretty much yelled at me for 45 minutes and then told me that I can’t just “assume” I know what I’m doing and that if something isn’t precisely clear enough for me, then I have to ask the assistant or attorney how to do it right. And I’m talking about the most basic stuff. It’s so frustrating and I feel like I’m right back in the first week that I started working there. So, yesterday I had to go into work for six hours…on a Saturday. It’s just been a really long week and I’ve been in such a terrible room. I even told my friends that I didn’t want to be around people and that all I wanted to do was be on my couch and alone. Haha, pathetic much?
Anyways, I got home from work/the gym around 745 on Friday night, I made dinner, and then watched TV and fell asleep at 930, on a Friday night. It was probably the greatest night of my life. But I had to get up at 730 to go to work. I was basically just sulking the whole time, which is weird for me because I always try to stay in a generally good mood. I got home from work around three yesterday, went to the gym, and then me and some friends went to the Omaha Community Playhouse and saw Chicago. It was actually really enjoyable and fun. I think I probably enjoyed it more than everyone because I was technically hanging out with my friends but I didn’t have to talk to them. Haha. That sounds terrible. I don’t know why, but I’m just in a weird mood these days. I think it’s just stress, but I always feel this constant pressure to be with people and that I need to hang out with people all the time. And whenever I just want to be alone for a little bit and not be surrounded by people, everyone attacks me. Even last night, I was at my best friends’ apartment and I said something and they jumped down my throat. So when I decided to just not say anything and stand there, they were all like “oh now you’re just sulking. you’re just looking for sympathy”. No, I just want to be alone. But I can’t even have that. Sorry this is kind of turning into a rant, it’s just been a very long week. I feel like wanting to be alone sometimes is healthy though.
On a bright note, things between me and my roommate are getting to be a lot better. We get along much better now than during the summer. Partly because we both have such busy schedules that we barely see each other, so when we do, it’s pretty fun. We go to the student center almost every night together to do homework (even though she NEVER has any). So that’s an answer to prayers. I feel like I’m starting to get my best friend back. I know she’s still been struggling from her breakup and I completely understand where her emotions and feelings were. But, things are starting to get back on the right track again.
School is ridiculous this year. It’s already been one of the hardest semesters of my life, but oddly enough, it’s definitely been the most enjoyable. Although all my classes are hard, the material is so interesting to me. I’m taking Psychology and the Law and that is by far my favorite class. I’m taking a few other law classes to kind of get a gist for it, and I’m finding that I’m really enjoying it and maybe that’s a good sign that I will go to law school and enjoy that line of work, but who knows. It’s all in God’s hands and I’m done trying to figure it out. Whatever happens happens.
I think that’s just about all for now. Besides all the stress, things are going well. I just pray this week is better than last and that I can handle all that’s being thrown at me.