Comfort Zone

So, this weekend I decided to start trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. After the first few days of class, I think that teachers sort of expect you to know what you want to do by now. Of course, I have a few ideas. I’m pretty certain that I want to go to law school and move somewhere very “city-like”, like Denver or Chicago or maybe even New York. I think the last few months (and maybe years) I’ve been so focused on “getting over my ex” or “taking care of my friends” that I haven’t really taken any time to focus on what I want. My college career is already halfway over, which scares the bejeezus out of me. So, I was talking to a friend of mine today about my life and what I want to do. She recently got back from a missions trip to Ethiopia (here’s your shout out) and we were discussing the culture shock and readjustment to everything.

It got me to thinking about the missions trip I made to Costa Rica in 2004 when I was entering my freshman year of high school. It was a life altering, faith renovating trip that I can’t even begin to explain. Every since I got back from the trip, I’ve gotten sucked into the worldly culture. Obviously, I made my priorities the wrong ones – boyfriend, alcohol, school, etc. At one point, I don’t think I would have even thought that God could love me anymore or remember me. That’s how far away I got. So, since my discussion with my friend, I’ve decided to start figuring out really what it is that I want to do. Obviously, I know that I can’t do anything on my own, everything takes dedication, spirit, and most importantly – faith.

So today, I e-mailed the contact from that project in Costa Rica about serving as a long-term missionary intern for next summer from May to August. I was freaking out as I sent it because I know that currently, my heart is nowhere near the right place it should be in order to work for that long in that setting. But like this blog, maybe it will keep me accountable to my new resolves as a redeemed believer. I still haven’t received word back about the opportunity, if there even is one. But I figure it is worth a shot. I think that I can really do some awesome ministry down in Costa Rica. I know that I left part of my heart there six years ago, and I think that maybe going back down again will help me figure out if I would be interested in doing missionary work when I graduate, maybe even using a law degree to help the abandoned children to get adopted by families. Who knows, right?

I also applied to a few internships in Washington, D.C. for next summer too. I still want to keep my options open, but I really hope that this all works out somehow. I know God is watching out for me and I’m excited to see where He takes me next summer. So, if you have a little extra room in your prayers tonight, just shoot one up to the big guy for me, please! For the first time in a really really long time, I can feel God working in my heart and giving me the direction that I’ve been asking for all this time. It’s between me and God now. Not me and my ex. Not me and my best friend. Not me and the bottom of a bottle. I just needed a little nudge in the right direction. ❤


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