Moving Forward

Since my last weakness, and eventually breakdown, I’ve been doing a lot better and things are really looking up. I’m still struggling not to go out with my friends, but my roommate is going out of town tomorrow and I think she is one of my main pressures to go out usually. So, with her gone, and the whole apartment to myself, I may just stay in and take it easy, pamper myself, watch movies, and do whatever I want.

Also, I’m not looking at my ex’s page again…hopefully ever. But let’s be honest, I’m bound to unblock him and friend request him eventually someday. But for now, I’m trying the whole “will this make you happy. and be honest with yourself” approach. It seems to be working for now. It’s definitely difficult for me to do. I want that control again. But, the fact of the matter is that he “loves” someone else and I guess that’s enough for me to say that it’s time to move forward in my life. In fact, I even got asked on a date! He said he would’ve asked me earlier if I didn’t always talk about how I never want to date again. Haha. Go figure.

So, this weekend, I think I’m  just going to do me. Maybe a bubble bath, some movies, whatever. I’m doing whatever I want to do. Just a few more days of hard work (like 40 hours in 4 days) then I get to go home and be with my family! I’m so excited.

Good night friends! 🙂


3 comments on “Moving Forward

  1. Kris says:

    You seem to be pulling yourself together rather well, so I don’t feel like I have much to add. 🙂 But, I did have one thought. And that is, I would take exception to the idea that gaining access to X-Boy’s Facebook page somehow gives YOU control. Be honest. It doesn’t. The moment you allow yourself to lurk and stalk (which – come on, let’s get real – is what it is when you study his photos and posts), you have effectively relinquished control of your thought life. You know very well that when you gawk at his photos or exert mental energy trying to read the tea leaves of his exchanges with his new gal, you have just strapped yourself back in to a painful emotional roller coaster and thrown your hands up in the air.

    If you care more about a guy than he cares about you – and this is (sadly) the de facto truth when the guy has moved on to a new relationship and you have not – you are handing him control over your thought life. Looking at his Facebook page isn’t about YOU having control. It’s about your trying to regain some sort of participation in his life. And that gives HIM control…even if he has no idea you’re out there watching him from afar through your computer screen.

    Don’t do it. Ever again.

  2. God's Timing says:

    Yeah, I would agree. I mean, I thought for so long that I would “have control” by means of being able to control seeing everything he did and said. But, the reality that I’ve just come to face is that you’re completely right. I’ve let him come into my thoughts way too much. But, I’m trying to turn that around. I even got a little tempted to check his page this morning, but resisted. One moment at a time, right?

  3. Kris says:

    Yep. One moment at a time is all we can ever ask. You’re doing well, girlie, and I can’t wait to see you again!

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